Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hope these bad jokes distract you from the fact you`re getting screwed. - Car insurance commercials
Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
I`m introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
You know what tastes better than one taco? Two tacos!
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
When in doubt, take a nap.
He said the spark between us was gone..so I tasered him..... Ill ask him again when he wakes up
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
Hash browns not tags.
One man’s potato is another man’s vodka.
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.