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How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That’s it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations.
Hell hath no fury like me when I’m slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
The fox says you need to stop.
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
Remember to make some bad decisions today. 20 years from now that’s all you’ll have to make your kids think you’re cool.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then I’m assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
If you tell people you used to weigh 500 pounds they`ll tell you how great you look at 250.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.