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Yeah, I was dropped as a baby. Into a pool of sheer awesome.
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)
Of course I`m a good mother ... They`re still alive aren`t they.
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with "According to the prophecy."
What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I`ll never hear the end of it.
It’s only a matter of time until “Security Cameras of Wal-Mart” is a reality TV show.
Sometimes I really want to throw paper at people. Brick shaped Paper. Made of brick.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart anymore isnt it??
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on carpet, but only for like 20 seconds...
The only thing I have learned so far in this company meeting is that this room has 37 ceiling tiles and 24 fluorescent bulbs.
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the sane one.
I wish all these vegetarians would stop eating my food´s food!