Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When a guy texts a girl “hey stranger”, what he really means is “I’ve recently thought about trying to get in your pants again.”
Know why a room full of married people looks so empty? There’s not a Single person in it…
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
Is beer cheaper off the kids menu
When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…
A poem about me: I hate mornings. I wish I was drunk. The End.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
Don`t talk to me like I`m stupid until you know for sure.
I was going to exercise this morning, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
Well, it`s almost the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the game.
The only thing I`ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them
I used to eat natural food, until I heard people were dying of natural causes
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
I have no idea what swag is, but I`m fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.