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I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
I drive everywhere but for some reason my shoes still wear out, it’s like there’s just no reward for laziness.
Been waiting at the pub for my wife to pick me up for hours now. How long does it take to have a baby, for Christs sake.
You`re never too old to learn something stupid.
I slept with my best friend’s wife last night and now I feel terrible. …. ….. She must have given me a cold or something.
If my company really wanted us to move during a fire drill, they`d lose the alarm and just announce that there`s free food by the stairs.
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You`re annoying enough as it is
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
Anything is legal when there`s no police around