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Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
The self-checkout line was a miracle for the condom industry.
Wanna come over tonight for pizza and sex? lol jk, there`s no pizza
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
Hard butter is the devil.
Sorry I yelled "April Fool`s" while you were proposing to your girlfriend.
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
I’m great at remembering names. I just don’t remember which one’s yours.
A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that`s when I hired my first hooker.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
I always tell the person at the drive-thru that they are so much prettier than I pictured them when I was ordering.
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
Being a woman should count as a pre-existing mental condition.