Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.
Someone asked me why I use the "F" bomb so much. What the F*ck is an "F" bomb?
If you don`t have anything nice to say, say it anyway, `cause it might be really really funny.
The only thing creepier than seeing a guy in a Speedo is seeing a guy in a Speedo staring back at you
I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
I finally found a machine at the gym I like: the vending machine!
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese
Taken names of employees from various stores and calling in sick for them, just to make it feel like I have a job. . .
If your dog is fat it means that you don`t get enough exercise.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.
Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.
Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting.