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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
Admit it at some point in your life you have tried to close the fridge slowly to see when the light goes out...
Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
OK. Who decided to call it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall (he also had a pretty good summer too).
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren`t there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
Face down, a$$ up ... that`s the way I tie my shoes.
After all these years, I`m beginning to suspect that Waldo doesn`t want to be found.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie? ... hmmm
The fact that you don’t find me amazing doesn’t bother me at all, it just confirms what I have suspected all along; that you have bad taste.
And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.
Common sense has become so rare it should be classified as a superpower.