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If sex is said to be the best exercise, than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there`s idea. . .
I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
New Years Eve. It takes 24,367 bolts to put a car together and only 1 nut to spread it all over the road, please don`t drink and drive and become the nut
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What`ve you got?
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name...
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
It`s the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
My therapist goes to her therapist five minutes after I leave.
Tequila, because sometimes you and your toilet need to hug it out.
Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.