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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
My coworkers should be less concerned about my job performance and just be happy I remember to wear pants each day.
They say money can`t buy you happiness, but I`ve got a receipt from the liquor store telling a whole different story.
So, all theses years I thought it was the dyer making my shirts not fit. now I`m pretty sure it the refrigerator.
So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
Do you ever feel like you`re in Season 5 of your life, and the writers are just doing outrageous stuff to keep it interesting?
Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do.
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
Whenever someone says to me “Things could be worse” I punch them in the face and say “Like that?”
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
If a cop pulls over a U-Haul, he`s trying to bust a move.
"Did you know that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?"
If you`re looking for happiness, walk to your nearest liquor store.