Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
You`d be surprised at how many times I`ve gone home, when i hear someone tell me "Go hard or Go home".
One thing I`ll never understand is alcohol free wine
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
Hockey is much better if you imagine the teams are fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
The only beachfront property I`ll ever be able to afford is a sandcastle.
If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
Unless your name is “Google”, stop acting as if you know everything!
Its so hot I used my blow dryer as a cooling fan!
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
I like staying up insanely late but I also like getting 12 hours of sleep. See my dilemma?
I don’t drink to forget about problems. I drink to create new problems that that make the old issues irrelevant.
Sign in a grocery store: Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll!