Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
10 REASONS WHY I`M LAZY... you know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
All my childhood invisible friends are probably doctors and lawyers now.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34C
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
Make Tomorrow More Fun: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
If Olympic drinking was an event I would probably take gold in the floor routine.
Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
To skip any youtube ad just change ‘youtube’ to ‘youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.
I can`t wait to get all liquored up, and then go door-to-door to sing some Christmas Carols when it starts to warm up in April...
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.