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Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.
I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
Love is when the guy who stocks the liquor knows your name.
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
What kind of jerk makes an anti-anxiety pill difficult to break in half?
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
Mcdonalds Drive thru: Do you want a girl toy or a boy toy? Me: You have those here?!
Bitch, you`re just like monday, nobody likes you -_-
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
That awkward moment when the woman your dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, and you realize she`s just lost an earring and nobody in Starbucks can hear your iPod...
There`s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with hope that it might magically solve her problems.