Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Haters are my motivators(:
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
Pregreening - creeping forward while waiting for a red light to change.
Half-Drunk is a waste of money.
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I`m heading north to start a new life.
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
Because it`s the season to give thanks, I would just like to say....you`re welcome.
If you have to tell us that you`ve been going to the gym, you probably need to go more often....