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Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever
I couldn`t find the word `Disappear` in the dictionary. Strange!
How many calories does swearing like a motherf*cker burn?
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
When someone shows you they don`t want to be a part of your life, let them go. I`m not saying you can`t make a voodoo doll of them, though.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom.
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.
I always get this dream where I`m driving in reverse ...Then I wake up and see that I`m driving normally.