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There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life`s face to find she has deflated in the night.
I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
The best thing about telepathy is... I know, right!?
Women say they love a man in uniform but when i go clubbing in my McDonalds uniform none of them will talk to me....I`m confused
Sweetie, if your gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty!
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
I can take care of my drunk friends, so the responsibility of having children doesn`t worry me.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
Stop picking on Justin Bieber. That`s somebody`s daughter.
When I rule the world, it will be illegal to have an opinion until you`ve proven that you are not an idiot.
I can`t seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don`t need their assistance in the bathroom.
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.