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"You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this" -Guy who invented shovels
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Some people need to calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
Lady`s if you want guys to look at your face instead of your chest ... eat a banana.
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
It’s 2015, why cant you unselect a floor in an elevator yet?
You the bomb" "No you the bomb" A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
The number of things that are *NOT* rocket science is staggering.
Isn`t it weird that a vacuum cleaner isn`t something that is used to clean vacuums?
My Facebook account would benefit from a breathalyzer-activated password.