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I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
I`m looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
The fact that Google autocompletes all of my questions just reaffirms how unoriginal all my problems are.
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join an XXX Facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really really big shirts.
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.