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So much of my day is just keeping myself distracted until it`s time to eat again.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Survival rule #1: You go first.
thinks that drinking beer is the second-most satisfying thing a guy can do for himself with one hand.
Scream “Chrome is better than Firefox” around a group of geeks if you wanna see them argue for 2 hours.
I dare you to spit on this status.
hate it when someone says they are miserable when their profile picture says otherwise.
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction, I hope there’s no hard feelings.
I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
Question everything...Or should you?
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.