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Sometimes when i`m following a recipe and it says to bake at 350 degrees, I will turn it up to 355 just to be a rebel.
Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.
It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
There`s nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.
I’d be much more interested in meeting people if I didn’t think most people were idiots.
I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.
My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
Sorry, I was not paying attention. I was thinking about having sex with you.
No, I would not like to join your exclusive membership rewards club. I’m buying a sandwich.
When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.