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A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already.
I bet anyone who`s had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in
How ignorant do I have to be before I start experiencing bliss?
I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.
Is that a selfie or did you just photobomb a picture of your filthy bathroom?
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
What if the weather talks about us?
It`s like the people in this restroom don`t even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU
Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
How many decades of knowing someone before it`s rude to ask what their name is?
Don’t compare yourself to others, that’s when you start to lose confidence in yourself.
I just threw up my weekend.
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".