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What a terrible day. I`m going to drive through puddles & splash pedestrians to make myself feel better,
Had a blast doing my Black Friday tradition!!!! I slept!
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning.
I love using my GPS, problem is I can`t find it.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
I gauge a person’s wealth by the level of protection on their iPhone. No case, huge salary.
pudding... thats always a funny word
My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
As you get closer and closer to the end of this status, I think it`s important that you lower your expectations.
Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I`ve never heard of.
The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!