Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you just got invited to do something on New Year`s Eve, it means someone else cancelled.
What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
I could never cheat in a relationship, That requires 2 women to find me attractive.
Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year. Spend a little extra for a really good one ... Just tring to help.
My favorite thing about working out is the part where I decide not to.
When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
You know it`s getting bad when the voices in your head start texting you
Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked ... So did all the other people at the post office.
Hand sanitizer: the cut finder.
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?