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Thought I had $707 in my bank account, turns out it was "LOL" and I was holding my statement upside down.
Why isn`t a menu board at a coffee house called JavaScript?
You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
It’s 2015, why cant you unselect a floor in an elevator yet?
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
You might call it ‘whipped.’ I call it `guy who’s getting laid.’
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
I can`t believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment