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Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come to work
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
I can`t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems....I`d be successful and happy by now if it wasn`t for them!!!!
From now on when someone asks you where you`re from look them dead in the eye and say: Planet Venus.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
Tried to plug my charger in the wrong hole. Siri was like STOP " I don`t do that ".
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt a$$ is around 24 seconds ..
I wish I could forget you as easy as I forget my passwords.
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...