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I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
If a$$holes could fly, this place would be an airport
I`ll vacuum over something a hundred times before I pick it up and place it back down and try again.
I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
My Kid: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What`s wrong with the one we live in? My Kid: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son.
I am really glad the shutdown is over. I`ll tell you something, it was very lonely being the only nonessential employee who was working.
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
You never truly appreciate Newton’s laws of motion until you’ve sneezed while going to the bathroom.
The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper`s only tooth.