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I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
There is no "we" in "bacon", so don`t even ask.
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.
Who knew adulthood would involve so much Advil?
Teens are always full of energy until someone says the words "clean up".
This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she`s never broken a lawnmower before.
Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you don`t know the man & he doesn`t know you`re eating his popcorn
Morning comes in 3 sizes: 1) Early. 2) Too early. 3) Way too early
I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
I live in a small town where the population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregant a guy leaves town.
One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or complain. But it was a long time ago, and it was just for that one day.
The best government job has to be assigning names to secret operations.
I have nothing!