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Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
If Santa doesn`t bring me something good I`m going to pee in his lap like I did when I was eight.
Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
The first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple `Thank you.` is all I need! Not all this `How did you get in my house?` business!