Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I go to McDonald`s once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car
Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
really vry funny
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
She said she was stripping to feed her kids but then got pissed when I started throwing canned goods at her
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
Today was about as much fun as a warm toilet seat in a public restroom!
Fact: Turtles can breathe through their butts. And I thought I had bad morning breath.
When children shy away, I say, "I don`t bite. Not hard anyway!" Then I laugh and bite them hard. They need to understand life`s not easy.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
Why the hell isn`t the iphone`s battery life called "Apple Juice."
Facebook is great, but I still miss the good old days of writing down my random thoughts and sliding them into stranger`s pockets.