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I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
The worst part of being naked is not having pockets.
Happy Wednesday 2014 Everyone!
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
If you don`t remember her name in the morning, take her to Starbucks.
So who wants to tell the person who just threw a new phone book on my porch about the internet?
Sorry, Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours