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I`ve eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
I can come up with plenty of ways to do nothing.
When someone tells me I`m going to hell, I`m like "yeah, duh, I work there part time as a tour guide!"
Dear future boyfriend/girlfriend, where the hell are you?
If you don`t know me by now....I`m a really good stalker.
Girls are a lot like oceans, beautiful and deep, but once a month, it`s shark week.
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people