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If you need help moving I am one hundred percent there for you emotionally.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren`t in the database.
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
If you have fewer than 25 FB friends. Please unfriend me because thats just embarassing and I dont want to be on your "loser" list.
Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume…
Just saw a commercial for weight gainer pills. Have the people with this "problem" not heard of pizza and alcohol?
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
If I`m in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?
They should`ve added "Might lose a lot of sleep" in Facebook`s terms & conditions before signing up.
going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."