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Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
I ran out of coffee this morning, whisky seemed like an acceptable replacement. Everyone is so pretty today.
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
We can`t cure cancer, diabetes or PMS, but we have 10 different pills to make a mans happy place bigger.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
I spent 2 hours cleaning this kitchen. Mess it up and I will cut you! ... Love MOM
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
I love sleep ... it’s like a Time Machine to Breakfast.
If at first you don`t succeed then maybe you just suck.
Putting a light in the refrigerator is God`s way of telling us that it`s okay to eat before going to bed.
There are 2 kinds of people I can’t stand: Nosy people, and people who won’t tell me what in the hell is going on.
What am I taking to the Family Thanksgiving feast? Tupperware.
So many fun things to say … too many relatives on Facebook to post!
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...