Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
That awkward moment when you get in the van... And there`s no candy.
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
I often fantasize about lying naked in bed, surrounded by various bags of chips and I have octopus arms so I can eat all the chips at once.
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
There’s nothing better than when someone you know walks by without recognizing you.
’twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming ... cuz I went into the wrong house.
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
I’m an organ donor, but I’m pretty sure all they’re going to use is my liver for “after” photos.
"Woo, I`m on a roll today, baby!" -butter
Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I`m just cooking!"
It`s acceptable for someone to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as long as they still go to the gym, right? I`m asking for a friend...