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i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
Roses are red, violets are blue. I lowered my standards, just for you.
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.
I consider my body less of a temple and more of a ruin.
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
When I`m bored I like to dress in a grim reaper costume and stand across the street from the nursing home and wave at the old folks.
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
I`m having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... ok by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
My therapist says I should quit talking to myself.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Nothing good ever came from drinking things that are on fire.
Don`t let anyone call you an "underachiever". If they knew you, they`d know how amazing it is that you`ve managed to accomplish anything.