Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
I hope I never have to run for my life. It wouldnβt end well.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
Ugh, I have an ingrown hair and it really hurts. This sounds like a job for medical marijuana.
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked β but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
Ways to get to my heart: 1) food ... thatβs pretty much it
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
When does paying taxes get shut down? Asking for everyone with a job.
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.
The majority of Americans support sending Congress to Syria.
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for βreal lifeβ they would offer a class called βworking with a$$holesβ
The biggest lie I tell myself is: βI donβt need to write that down, Iβll remember it.β