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Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.
Why I don’t like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because.
Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die.
How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?
Always be yourself, unless you suck…and if you suck you should try being more like me.
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
Why non-smokers don`t take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
I enjoy short walks to the fridge
I wish I could select all my responsibilities and press delete.
I forgot to post this earlier
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I only had to do it like 3 times a week. This every day thing is overkill.
I would want to change my name to `Nobody` on Facebook. So when someone updates something stupid it says `Nobody likes this`