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is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
They should create an app that makes your cellphone go “ahhhhhhhh” when you plug it in.
My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
How to get laid: 1)Lay on bed... Wait 1 hour until lay becomes past tense
It takes balls to be a man.
All the coffee beans in South America can`t make me a morning person.
Random Thought: How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing aggravates them so much. But if you really want to piss them off tell them you will pray for their souls.
If I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable.
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.