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Have you hugged you bartender today.
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
Netflix doesnβt care if u showered or not
Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
When you put βaspiringβ in front of your chosen profession. What I hear is: Iβm unemployed.
Iβm a proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants.
Please donβt take anything I say personal or too seriously. Iβm just an idiot with internet access.
October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.
This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
Donβt get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down post at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !