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It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
Adulthood is mostly about being tired and wishing you hadn’t made plans.
All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I`m being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I`m talking about
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
Raising teenagers is easy, they sleep 16 hours day, eat the other 8, and the only word in their vocab is "ok"
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined by telling the truth.
Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different from mine.
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.