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A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
If life Sucks, what makes you think death doesn`t Blow??
I started seeing this girl recently. She sometimes texts. Sometimes Whatsapps. Sometimes she emails. Sometimes she Facebooks. Im getting mixed messages.
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
You have your whole life to be an a$$hole...are you trying to use it all up in one day?
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs.
Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
I`ll make better mistakes tomorrow.
I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I`m still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it.
Things that make you go Mmmmmmm - Duct Tape
Sometimes in life, all you really need is a lot of money.