Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
Most of you like waking up in the morning to see the "comments" and "likes" that your status received. I like waking up in the morning to see WTF I posted!
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
Don`t expect me not to hopscotch all over your house if you have fancy tiles.
I can tell by your boobs that you`ve never seen a bar tab.
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
What doesn`t kill you, makes you stronger... except for lions, lions will definitely kill you.
Every time I`m not with my kid and someone asks me "Where`s the baby?" I just yell "Oh crap!" and run in the direction I came from.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"
Sometimes I do totally awesome and amazing things just to throw people off.