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is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Sometimes it`s nice to know karma is still a feisty little b!tch.
The black sheep always have the best stories.
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
Don`t threaten to leave people, surprise them by actually leaving.
I`m an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
Mom said angels are watching over me. I`m just afraid they`re taking notes to make sure I go to hell.
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
i hate that the sun comes up so early
Facebook really needs a “pee on someone’s wall” option.
I can`t believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment