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9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
You can test my patience all you want, but Iām never going to pass.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
"I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
For lent, I`m giving up sexual innuendos but it`s hard... so hard!
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren`t going to see me 7 more times before then.
You know you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
Facebook reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, `Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?`