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Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
Of course women dont fart. They never shut up long enough to build up pressure
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
I just want one spam email that`s like, "Congratulations! You have a perfect-sized p*nis."
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
So what if I`m single now ... I mean it can`t be that hard to boil toast, can it?
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
Farts are like children. I`m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
I`ve decided to start taking more supplements: calcium pills for my bones, ginkgo pills for my memory, milk thistle for my liver, ginkgo pills for my memory...
Hangovers are nature`s way of grounding you as an adult.
Wonder what my couch is doing right now.