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Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That`s how many seconds you just wasted.
It hurts to be in love. Oh wait, I`m sitting on my keys.
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
When I`m on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
The woman that just drove past me was either doing a huge yawn or her brakes have failed....
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
Some days should come with a warning label: This day is going to suck, bring alcohol.
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
Never underestimate the power of the web. -Charlotte
That weirdo that comes into bars and tries to sell roses would make a lot more money if he sold tacos.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding.
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk ;)
:): The Bipolar smiley face