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Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.
If you`ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you`ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
Who the hell invented Bull Riding? "Hey, I`m gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"
Rum balls, rum cake, rum spiked eggnog, rum in fruitcakes...you know, anymore, there`s more of the Captain than of Christ in Christmas...
Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?
Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
I`m not sure who`s more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides.