Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
I did responsible things all day so tonight will consist of nothing that even resembles responsibility.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.
Sometimes when I`m bored, I pick out a girl from my list of FB friends that I`ve never actually met and then go back on her timeline and like every single post she made in like 2009......That should freak her out a bit...
Give a man a fish and chances are you won`t be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
Sir, your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
I can tell by your boobs that you`ve never seen a bar tab.
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
As far as distractions go ... I like to think I`m a good one.