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I like the part of the day where we eat the food.
Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
If you don’t feel just a little bit of shame after the weekend… you’re not doing it right.
Childhood is like being drunk: Everyone remembers what you did except you.
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me ... from me.
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
The realization that Netflix knows me better than my closest friends....
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.
Whoever said "Just showing up is half the battle" (a) didn`t understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up.