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Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that`s what I want to start calling the hall closet.
Traffic jams are more tolerable if you just think of them as really boring parades.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
If you haven`t used your fingers to "expand" a picture in a Magazine today, well then you`re not me.
If I was a cab driver I`d yell "ROAD TRIP" every time I got a passenger
I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.
Why don`t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?
You´d be amazed how often I´m wrong when people say guess what