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Life is beautiful ...... but Monday`s suck all the way around.
Cashiers are always checking me out.
my cross-eyed girlfriend left me today. She was seeing someone else.
The guy who invented wet t-shirt contests probably has no idea that shirts can just be taken off.
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
The computers were down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
More people should be at a loss for words.
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
You´re never too old to learn something stupid.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!