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The secret to eternal life and happiness could be hidden in the Terms & Conditions and we would never know.
Never trust a person with only one Facebook photo of themselves.
There`s never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.
There are two ways to go about arguing with a woman and neither one works.
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.
People think I`m crazy because I talk to my cat. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore him when he asks me a question?
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
I will never repeat filthy rumors. So listen closely the first time.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.