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I always say, "morning." Instead of, "good morning." If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people.
Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
You only live once is the most reassuring thing I`ve ever heard.
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
If you tickle me, I’m not responsible for your injuries.
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
The worst form of Alzheimer’s is when you walk out of the kitchen and forget to grab a beer.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.