Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
I`m an optimist. I didn`t lose a sock in the dryer. I found an extra one!
Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandfather’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
When my dog sniffs another dog`s poop I can only assume that it`s their equivalent to checking a friend`s facebook page.
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. “Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you.”
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
My 17yo pretends he doesn`t understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you`re finally a man
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."
Mosquito`s and parking inspectors must be from the same family...
It`s not "you`re" or "your". It`s mine. It`s all mine, everything is mine!