Daily Silly Status

Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they`re talking?

So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m

I`ve gotten to that age where nothing fits right anymore. Even my birthday suit looks like it needs ironing...

Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently

If you have to ask if it`s too early to drink wine...You`re an amateur and we can`t be friends.

When someone says “you’re the best,” just know that it’s not really true because I’m the best.

Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.

My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.

Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.

Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?

My dog reminds me of my ex. She doesn`t pull her weight financially and she`s scared of the vacuum.

You say I’m not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I’m not cold, I’m hot. I know I’m hot. Thanks for embracing it.

If you don`t know me by now....I`m a really good stalker.

If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?

I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.