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I`ve spent approximately 2% of my life walking back to the trash can and checking the box to see how long I need to microwave my food.
Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
Its a shame I don`t have 5 incomes to go with my 5 personalities.. Damn free loaders
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound. 1% advice.
Have you ever partied so hard that you feel like you may have damaged your DNA?
Facebook: an alternative to drunk dialing.
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
I`m no mathlete, but I CAN tell you that a 6 y/o running at 8 mph chasing an ice cream truck moving at 10 mph flies 7.4 ft if you trip him.
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.