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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
It takes a brave man to admit when his wife is wrong .
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
Roses are red, Violets are blue... Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you thought this would be something sweet and charming, but it`s just some garden facts.
Half-Drunk is a waste of money.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
You know you are in trouble when your mom screams your whole name.
Life is hard ... It`s harder if you`re stupid.
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to go poop after you get out of the shower.
Several decisions I make on a daily basis hinge upon the question "illegal or just frowned upon?"
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.