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If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous...Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet.
I’m like a kid in a candy store. I can’t afford anything.
I think about hiring a maid way too often for someone who has plenty of time to clean.
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, “It’s okay, I think we lost him.”
I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don`t think it`s weird when I have jam in my hair.
I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it`s obvious he had no idea how letters work.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
I don’t drink to forget about problems. I drink to create new problems that that make the old issues irrelevant.
I`ve been single for a while and I have to say, it`s going very well. Like... It`s working out. I think I`m the one.
I think Facebook now comes under the housework category.