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I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
I`m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar.
It`s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
Some things are better left unsaid, but I`m probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway.
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
Neighbors just kicked me out of their shower and called the cops. Some of these pokemon go instructions are confusing. A lot of grey area...
My stalker twisted his ankle, so now I have to walk slower for 2-3 weeks.
Every paper towel commercial just reminds me that the cleanest option is to just not have children.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
Apparently "whiskey and wild women" is not an acceptable answer when asked what your weaknesses are during a job interview.
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears