Daily Silly Status

FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"

I hate to sound racist, but.. all of your baby ultrasounds look the same.

Not all guys just want s@x... I want sandwiches too.

Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.

Its all sh!ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh!ts

Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.

My mom says I`m special.

My neighbor`s facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.

If your neighbor has wind chimes, you have wind chimes.

I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.

I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.

I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.

I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the b!tch they claim I am.

Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.

I play hard to get along with.