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Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra.
Relatives - Because sometimes you need reminding of your bad genes too.
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
Good thing all the `Five and Ten` stores closed... They were nickle and diming us to death.
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
Lucky Charms should be 98% Marshmallows and 2% of that other sh*t.
I’m eating just in case I get hungry later
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
I am taking a shot for every “like” I get on this status. Then again, I’m taking shots whether you bastards like it or not.
Advice of the day: Don`t go trick or treating at the bank. They get freaked out. Especially when it`s not Halloween
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
My date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.