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Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
The final stage of adulthood is when you start saying, "Oooh, that breeze feels nice."
You know what`s really great about being a narcissist? Me.
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
Cool things about being a turtle: 1. Born with a free house attached to you 2. Super chill 3. Could potentially mutate into a ninja
I would of never even thought of touching half the things that I`ve touched, if it weren`t for the "Do not touch" signs!
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
That awkward moment when the automatic flushing toilet goes off when you`re still sitting down.
I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
The best part about being over 40 is we did most of our stupid stuff before the internet.
Thanks for posting pics of what you had for dinner, the suspense was f*cking killing me.
My scars tell a story. A story about a guy who`s really f*cking clumsy.