Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
I´m playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can´t get off the couch or I´ll die.
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.
I love you more than I hate everyone else.
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
Lol at birds that walk places.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
I`m just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
When I grow up I wanna be a psychiatrist for the mentally insane...so i can find out what the hell is wrong with you people
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
I may not be the only egomaniac around here, but I’m the only one that matters.