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If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
Today is the day I go back to the gym. Tomorrow is when I stop telling lies.
How come "you`re a peach" is a complement but "you`re bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.
You ever read a status, and you`re like, `what a f*ck up` and then you realize you`re on your own page?
Ahh, Spring. When the days get longer and the dresses get shorter!!
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.
I wonder if Monday can see my middle finger from here?
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.