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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
I slept on the sofa last night which is weird because I`m not even married.
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
Facebook: The only place where you get excited when strangers follow you.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
Your silent treatment should be accompanied by a disappearing act.
Good rule of thumb: if you see an adult riding a children’s bicycle, you’re probably in a bad neighborhood.
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to D!ck, Especially since his name is Steve.