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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
My life`s paradox: I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
I always tell the person at the drive-thru that they are so much prettier than I pictured them when I was ordering.
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
My neighbors complained that I never mow my lawn. So I started mowing. The cops showed up at 3 a.m.. These neighbors are never happy...
You know it`s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk? ... my apocolypse plans depend on it ... thanks!
I can keep a secret… It’s all the other people I tell it to who can’t.