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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
A gun is like a coupon that works anywhere.
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
Has anyone seen where I put my organizational skills?
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
sex is like a joke, some get it some don`t.....
I hate taking down Christmas decorations just to put up Halloween decorations...
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
NASCAR pit crews are always retiring. Let it sink in: now laugh
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
Chip clips are for quitters.
Can you shut up now?! Because talking to you sounds less appealing then playing leapfrog with unicorns.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.
I test drove a car last month. Apparently, you`re not supposed to keep the car for a month. At least that what this cop is telling me.