Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Funniest thing ever heard on TV. "Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"
Detective: “The victim musta had company. There’s 2 dirty plates in the sink.” If I ever get murdered they’ll think I had 16 people over.
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
One person forgetting to take their medication can really liven up a mundane day at the office.
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where the f*ck is my remote?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch dumbass."
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
Safe words are for quitters.
Since you no longer have a calendar I`d like to notify all the Mayans that it has been one year since the end of the world.
It would be great if there was an app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.
It`d be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.