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Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.
The worst part about being alone is I don`t have anyone to get me a beer from the fridge.
Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.
The only instant messaging I enjoy is with my middle finger.
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
Where is the button to restart summer?
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.