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At first, I had my doubts about using autocorrect. But my new phone probed me wrong. PROVED DAMNIT! PROVED!
Wanted: Magic hat for a snowman
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
Holidays, hotels and women. Three things that always look better online than in real life.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
8 more days and I will finally get rid of last years Halloween candy.
I was going to get married, but my wife refuses to sign the divorce papers
Girl rule. A girl will only compliment another girl that is uglier than they are.
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?
I don’t necessarily believe in karma, but I’m gonna be extra careful crossing the street after this weekend.
Love your enemies; after all, you made them!
They`re all cop cars when you`re this high.
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?