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Give Me A Minute While I Pretend To Care!
Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
Why is it called when animals attack? It should be called when retarded people go near dangerous animals.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
I bet everyone in Gotham prisons really hates the guy that killed Bruce Wayne`s parents.
Gun Control: Use both hands
I bet acting like azzholes on the Internet all day wasn`t where most of us visioned our lives to be right now.
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
I`m going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night.
That awkward moment when you take a bath in the middle of the day and don`t know whether to wear normal clothes or pajamas.
Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.