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Did you guys know grammar police rhymes with humorless a$$hole?
I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
Relationship status: Don`t tell me to calm down! You called a stormtrooper a robot!
You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a friend.
I scream, You scream, We all scream, Because grandpa forgot his hearing aids again.
I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
I can`t wait to get home and have make-up sex! ... I`ve been arguing all day with myself.
If you`re able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging.
Hold boobs not grudges.
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
Me in a shopping mall: "I like that stuff" *looks at pricetag* "i don`t like it anymore"
Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation`s children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is.
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...