Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
She might be ugly now, but wait a few more drinks.
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous ... You`re practically begging for typos.
I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
The hardest thing about returning to work after a long weekend is remembering to fart quietly.
When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard. My second thought is virgin wizard.
Remember before the internet when all the people at the video store knew you watched porn alone on Saturday mornings
I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn’t hear me call shotgun.
I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
At the end of each day, life should ask us, `Do you want to save the changes?`
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
Who can really hear themselves thinking?
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.